Hazama Went Down to Ikaruga
by Sovereign64
Summary: Parody of the Charlie Daniels song 'Devil Went Down to Georgia'. Hazama makes a bet with Hakumen. Who shall prevail?


DW: This is my first BlazBlue oneshot. After looking through all the BlazBlue stories in this site, I felt what the category needs is a humor/parody fanfic. I hope you guys enjoy!

_**Hazama Went Down to Ikaruga**_

Ragna the Bloodedge is standing behind a microphone. Behind him were Jin Kisaragi and Litchi Faye Ling, each holding an electric guitar, Noel Vermillion and Tsubaki Yayoi, each holding a fiddle and Rachel Alucard on the piano. They all appear to be on a stage that is placed in an open field.

Noel, Tsubaki and Rachel then played their instruments while Ragna starts to singing in a somewhat hillbilly accent.

Ragna: _Hazama went down to Ikaruga_

_He was looking for a sword to steal_

_He was in a bind_

_Cause his quota was behind_

_And he figured maybe he could make a deal_

_When he came across this warrior fighting with NOL soldiers_

_And killing a lot_

_And Hazama jumped upon a hickory stump and said_

Hazama: **Mister let me tell you what**

**I bet you didn't know it**

**But I'm an evil bastard too**

**And if you'd care to take a dare**

**I'll make a bet with you.**

**Now you kill soldiers pretty good, boy**

**But give this bastard his due**

**I bet a paycheck from NOL against one from Sector Seven**

**Cos I think I'm better than you.**

Ragna: _And the guy said…_

Hakumen: **My name's Hakumen and it might be against the rules**

**But I'll take your deal and you're in trouble now**

**Cos I'm the best Sector Seven has…**

Ragna, Jin, Noel: _Hakumen rosin' up your sword_

_And slash real hard_

_Cause hell's broke loose at Ikaruga_

_And Hazama is an evil bastard_

_And if you beat him_

_You'll get an NOL paycheck_

_But if you lose you'll lose your weekly wage_

(Noel and Tsubaki both did a fiddle solo)

Ragna: _Hazama stands in front of an NOL branch and said_

Hazama: **I'll go first**

Ragna: _Fire burn from his fingertips _

_As he sped down hall through hall_

_Killing soldiers as he went_

_It looked a lot like a blood bath_

_A band of soldiers started shooting_

_And it sounded a lot like World War 2_

(Jin and Litchi both did an electric guitar solo)

_When Hazama returned_

_Hakumen said_

Hakumen: **Well you did pretty good just now**

**But sit down on the dead soldier there**

**And let me show you how it's done**

Ragna, Jin, Noel: _Fire on Ikaruga_

_Run Hakumen run_

_An NOL paycheck is waiting for you_

_All you need is an NOL sword_

_And you could be that much richer_

(Noel and Tsubaki both did another fiddle solo)

Ragna: _Hazama bowed his head_

_Because Hakumen was 3 minutes faster than him_

_So he laid seven hundred dollars on the ground at Hakumen's feet_

_And Hakumen said…_

Hakumen: **Hazama, come on back**

**If you ever want to try again**

**Cos I told you once you son of a bitch**

**I'm the best Sector Seven has**

Ragna, Jin, Noel: _Then Hazama__ smiled evilly_

_He slams a fist__ into Hakumen's face_

_He now has two swords and his money back_

_But that's not how the song's supposed to end_

_But Hazama is a bastard_

_And the writer is a fanboy_

_I mean what did you expect?_

Ragna arches his eyebrow and looks at the song sheet. He turns to Jin and asked, "Did the author really wrote that?"

"I guess so." Jin shrugs. Everybody then turn their heads and drop their jaws when they see a teenage boy with messy black hair and wears glasses smiling as he skips merrily to Hazama.

"Is that the author?" Noel asked Tsubaki, a bit frightened.

"I think so." Tsubaki shivered as the author is giving her the creeps.

"Is it just me, or does Hazama look a bit uncomfortable?" Rachel asked.

"Oh yeah, he's suffering." Litchi said.

As the author drags Hazama away, he turns to them mouthing the words _HELP ME. _Ragna, Jin, Noel, Tsubaki, Rachel and Litchi then turn their heads to each other and start laughing their asses off. As Hazama gets pull away, the author took out what appears to be a bottle of butterscotch syrup.

**THE END**

DW: Hope you guys enjoy it. Read and review!


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